There is only one basic principle in this magical process of working on yourself to become a pure gold of a person. Without understanding this principle, the art of creating a strategy, setting up the rules, analyzing your personality traits to understand what causes what and dealing with the consequences is absolutely pointless. This principle is so important that to think outside of its concept is not only foolish, but harmful. So here it is:
Without improving, it is degradation
It’s the main principle of evolution, the principal of life. From the beginning of times our universe tends to pursue the constant progress into bettering itself. If you are not the part of progress, you are a part of regress. You are bad for development.
You must improve yourself constantly to become stronger, mature, stable human being. Unfortunately, this simple true is denied by the most. You always recognize them when you hear something like “to be selfish is more beneficial”, or to be lazy at work is to be “smart pants” by letting others do your job, that lie and greed will take you further in life than honesty and generosity – these people are disease of the society. They proclaim parasite way of living everywhere they go. The common believe that the life of a selfish, vicious, senseless jerk is full of joy and benefits is the biggest lie you can trick yourself into.
Another side of the spectrum is to be good no matter what, and let the cruel world consume you is however no better. This silent agreement to take all the suffering for a good cause is nothing but a justification of your weakness and worthlessness, and another reason not to work on yourself to become a stronger person.
Every powerful trait of your personality that you gain by overcoming your weaknesses, whether it’s generosity (instead of kindness of a fool who just afraid to be judged by others), courage (to look in the eyes of your addictions to fight them), ability to overcome stressful situations (without a gallon of weed), empathy (which is different from the whining and talking shit in the company of losers, by the way), diligence, modesty, sense of justice and honesty – all are the traits of a strong personality. Denying these traits is your choice to stay a weak person, who hopes to parasitize on others.
When you are strong, you will always have energy and motivation to survive under any life circumstances. You have locus of control in your hand to turn the tables quickly without unnecessary whining, complaining, soliciting and trying to use other people. For that you must learn to learn your boundaries to respect the other people’s boundaries, get rid of the personality “crowns”, stay active, gain inner control and healthy self-esteem.
On the other hand, there are weak people, who need their illusions to survive the stress, who grow “personality crowns” to defend themselves and who constantly looking for an approval of others to keep them going. Weak person’s support is always in others, who always owe he(she) something, without getting anything back. They find it easier to learn how to manipulate for the short kick of illusions and addictions.
Always remember that illusions give only a temporarily happiness. It’s like you credit the energy to cover an unbearable pain. Meanwhile the percent is getting higher and you will still have to pay back in hurts.
So, why is it so hard to better ourselves and why we choose the easier way more often?
The answer is that we underestimate the power of adaptation.
Every single time I hear the conversation of two girls when one boasting how many men she fucks (!) – ladies, to begin with, you can’t fuck anyone for one good reason, you are not properly equipped, therefore you can be only “fucked” in all the possible meanings of the world, – and the other says something like “good for you”, I’m instantly dead inside. I already know that the one who’s feeding on the crumbs of her girlfriend approval, will end up crying her eyes out all alone at night struggling to get out the “sex only”. That’s another trait of a weak person – to surround yourself with people who tell you what you want to hear instead of what you need to hear, to have yet another reason to continue exercising your crappy life skills. In another words, you adapt maximally.
The maximum adaptation is not an ideal adaptation however, because it doesn’t give you a happy life. The personality of individual is created in the process of adaptation to the social environment. Our character is not given us in the moment of birth. Therefore, we possess the power to change it during the course of life. And we must! Constantly. Because you can gain the energy by developing yourself and keep it forever. It is a piece of work.
Many people choose to stay in the comfort zone simply because changes take a lot of energy. But they only have energy just enough to suffer and complain. At the same time turning for worst saves energy. That’s why it’s always easier to choose that path over bettering yourself.
But it would not be my path…